Manifesting: A privilege of the rich or poor man's grasp at straws?
In todays edition of questions that keep me up at night, I'm monologuing on centuries old topic
Throughout the 37 years I’ve been a resident on this Earth, I’ve come upon this very particular word in various different versions, all bearing the same meaning. For me it all started back in 2008 when I came upon this very medieval like looking little book with “The Secret” written across a wrapper tucked in a corner of a quite little charming bookshop in Ljubljana. Despite knowing better than to judge a book by its cover, I couldn’t help but being drawn to it. I have to admit that it spoke to me. It felt mysterious in a very magical, almost whimsical sort of way. Soon enough after I picked it up from that shelf, I was immersed in the contents of it. I mean who wouldn’t be? The book was a bestseller for a reason. The law of attraction? Sounded very empowering, very much like you and only you have the power to alter your reality. As a dreamer myself, surrounded by sceptics my entire life, at that time this book was exactly what I needed to affirm what I was feeling. It gave me confidence and inspired me to keep doing what I was doing. However, try as I might, I could never get to the point of attracting the million dollar lifestyle I craved for.
Reading this book was a total rollercoster for me. For several years after that I did the affirmations and the moodboards almost religiously and yet while my imagination triumphed during that time, my reality did the opposite. After being lifted up so high by the mumbo jumbo of the positive thinking and law of attraction, my world came crashing down like a house of cards after a setback I had with the first internship I was supposed to start, but never did. Along with it, affirmiations, moodboards and the like went down the drain as well. The only thing that remained during those dark times was my incessant stubborn belief in myself and the very badass “I’ll show them” attitude, which honestly I think I was born with, because for the life of me I can’t really find a suitable enough explaination on how it could ever be groomed.
Rewind 16 years later to a one particularly sunny day in Skopje, I was going through my emails and I stumbled upon one coming from Roxie Nafousi’s stylist requesting to pull some of Bastet Noir’s pieces for her upcoming summer tour of promoting her book. If I’m being totally honest with you, up until that point I had no idea who Roxie was. So I went on and did a little digging. Turned out this woman has not only found a way to revive and make relevant centuries old teaching, but has made a brand out of it. Now, a little disclaimer here, I have not read Roxie’s book, so take what I’m about to say with a grain of salt, but it did take me back to those “manifesting” days of mine and it did make me smile on my naïvité.
Several days later, the topic of manifesting came up yet again while I was talking to a friend of mine, who every once in a while is living the life of the one percenters of this world on an income of the regular Joe. Before I delve in any deeper into what we talked about, I want to make something perfectly clear. This is in no way an attack on her character nor on those who’ve choosen to live their lives this way. God knows I was one of these people not that long ago. It’s in no way wrong to aspire to a certain type of lifestyle and if you work hard for your money, no one has the right to tell you how to spend them. You and you alone knows what makes you happy. However, I want to figure out how this detachment between one’s reality and one’s wishes comes to be and I think this dangerous line of thought called “manifesting” has something to do with it.
Anyway back to the conversation we had. So this friend of mine, has a friend who belongs to a higher upper class who has said something along the lines of “If you think abundant thoughts, abundantness will ensue” which got me wondering “Is manifesting a luxury only well off people can afford?”. While there’s nothing wrong in thinking happy thoughts and being optimistic about the future, after all this type of mindset gets you faster over the hurdles and piles of issues which are an inevitable part of the fabric of life and it could be of help when you’re trying to let go of something that no longer serves you, sometimes it can put the wrong idea in your head, especially when you’re sitting on the sidelines, having one foot in and watch how rich people live their lives, it’s only natural that you want to do it too or at least try thinking for a few days in your life you can emulate what for them is just a regular Wednesday. The fact of the matter is that you can’t unless you have your basics covered, like roof over your head and money set aside for rainy days and sadly no manifesting in the world can help you get these essentials, if your approach towards money is Oscar Wilde’s idea of a good time.
My relationship with manifesting has been rocky at best throughout these past two decades going back to when I first discovered “The Secret”. Throughout those years, there were times when I had been rich and then poor, times when I was in between of course, when I thought I was rich, but in reality my mom and dad were and times when I’ve made it rain, spending money like there’s no tomorrow in a desperate attempt to create memories and life experiences. When I take a step back and look at all those times here’s what I keep coming back to.
It’s hard to keep a positive spirit and think of the big picture, when you’re down and poor and you don’t know where your next income is coming from, like how in the hell you’re going to pay the bills or put a food on your table. Even if it’s just you with no family whatsoever to be dependent on you. Manifesting in those times seems like a first world problem, doesn’t it? When all else is crumbling, a vision of what you think you deserve ain’t going to help keeping that house from burning down when fire flames are circling it like vultures. All that self development bulshit comes when your life isn’t chaotic and that can’t happen in an environment where your every waking thought is how to make enough money to keep ends meet, when you keep running and don’t have the mental capacity to process what’s happening, let alone try and do something about it.
For me everytime my business does well and made money, I’m beyond happy, thinking, this is it, I made it, I can’t believe I am actually living my dream. I have manifested this motherfucker and created it out of thin air, and then there are times when I get humbled by life and reality kicks me in the butt so hard that all that manifesting gets sucked out of me, washed away by the constant gray clouds hovering over my head.
So here’s what I think. While the concept in theory sounds good, I’m just not sure if it applies to a single mom, born in hardship with no capital whatsoever who works 24/7 just to feed her family. She can’t just jet off to Thailand and become enlightened after visiting a week yoga class, shit she can’t even make it to a one hour yoga class 5 minutes away from her house. Trust me I know. I’ve been around these people and it’s not easy.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t fall pray to this line of thought, thinking that your thoughts alone are enough to either summon bad or good events. People who write these stories are positioned in society infinitely better than the plain Jane. For one, they are in environments that make it possible for them to thrive while doing the bare minimum of work. They have the privilige of focusing and not getting overwhelmed by multitasking, because they can afford people for every single task. They have networks around them which allow for these “happy times” to happen, as well as branding and PR agencies, whoes whole machinery works overtime to spread the story to everyman such as you and me to make us feel quilty when nothing seems to be working and keep spending our hard earned cash for the privilage of getting a glimpse into their “manifested abundance”.
I understand that in most cases, these people come from a trust fund background in which case I do believe that they genuinely believe in the incredulous healing powers of manifesting. After all it’s easy to manifest when things go your way, isn’t it? But it’s dangerous to preach this from a place of privilege. Tooting manifesting as a savior is not helping, in fact some experts, such as Gabriele Oettingen, an NYU professor who’s studied positive thinking for much of her career would go on so far as to say that:
So here’s where I stand on this topic of manifesting. While this technique of positive thinking and envisioning a better future might be useful for having a goal in your life, something to aspire and look forward to, it should in no way serve as a roadmap for your existence, but more like a compass to nudge you in the right direction.
As I’m writting this, my Salad Brain immediately goes to Oscar Wilde, as the ultimate aesthete/dreamer and in my opinion the epitome of manifesting gone bad. While hanging with the richest people of his time, his whole existance of life was defined by his Boeme way of being. Equipped with world class knowledge and a gift for witticism, his tragic story is nothing short of a cautionary tale. Granted he has manifested a life for himself among the richest, while he himself was poor, despite having all the potential in the world to become a rich man, because in my hi he failed to grasp the most important life lesson of them all. The success of an individual hangs in the fragile balance of experiencing the world without braking the bank. Something I believe each and every one of us has struggled with at some point in their lives. And that dear readers is something no manifesting technique can teach.
So, while my naive self a decade ago would tell you that manifesting is important, my wise, a decade older self has a brand new perspective on life. Instead of focusing on manifesting, focus on becoming financially literate, because the truth of the matter is that that’s the only sure way of getting you to a position of privilage from where you can then go on and explore the very complex nature of manifesting.
If you want to explore this topic more, I highly enourage you to read this article Why Manifesting Is Bad For Us by Anna K. Schaffner. It traces back the history of manifesting and offers an interesting perspective on how, why and when these books and stories resonate with people the most. As it turns out nothing beats the perfect storm of right place, right time and right environment.
And with that I conclude yet another unsolicited piece of opinion on “things that matter”. Another part of this series will come out whenever I feel like it, cause someone (me) is off the “manifesting” wagon and back into the real world where business needs to be ran rather than manifested. Until then, because sharing is caring, if you know someone who finds this random thoughts and opinions of mine fascinating, I give you permission to share this with them. You’re welcome 😉.
In all seriousness though, I know time these days is a precious currency, so thank your reading.
Hasta la vista lovelies from my Salad Brain.